


Frozen Heart

by Hannah_Writes



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-07
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-08 02:35:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4287483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hannah_Writes/pseuds/Hannah_Writes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil go Ice Skating but Dan falls through, will he make it? Attempts of suicide in Chapter 2........</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  The first signs of winter has appeared, snow covering the ground like a large blanket, icicles hanging freely from roof panels, and Christmas lights were just starting to make appearances here and there. Dan and I were taking advantage of today and going ice skating just down the road from our flat, there was a little pond that was very popular during the summer but luckily not as popular during the winter.

  “Today is such a lovely day, Dan!” I said with a big smile on my face,

  “It's just snow, Phil.” Dan laughed, “I only came out because you love it.” He pulled his jacket around him more, a sign that he did not want to be out here,

  “Oh come on Dan, you'll love this, I promise, it's better than being stuck inside, right?” I asked taking his hand,

  “No. Inside I can put the fire on and cuddle up while watching Netflix, you can't exactly do that out here.” Dan whined, he really did not like being outdoors.

  “Ok, here's the deal, we won't be out longer than an hour, then we can go home and cuddle up together, how does that sound?” I asked squeezing his hand,

  “I can handle that.” Dan smiled and kissed my hand before looking down at the frozen pond,

  “It really does look lovely Phil, you were right about that.” Dan said before taking his shoes off, “I haven't done this in years, hope I'm not to terrible.” He laughed and laced up his skates, “Hurry it up, Phil!” he yelled already ahead of me and skating around circles,

  “I'm coming, I'm coming! You know you look so majestic just skating around in circles, is that all you can do?” I laughed and soon joined him on the ice, “This is how a professional skates.” I said and skated around Dan, never taking my eyes off him, “Top that, amateur.” I said with a small smirk,

  “Amateur? You wanna see how amateur I can be?” Dan asked laughing, suddenly a loud cracking could be heard and we both stopped,

  “What was that?” I asked looking around, before I knew it I was being pushed to the ground and all I heard was a scream before I realized Dan wasn't next to me anymore but below in the blistering cold water,

  “Dan!” I yelled slowly making my way over, “Dan?!” His head suddenly popped up, gasping for air,

  “P-Phil...help!” he yelled flailing around in the water,

  “Alright, grab hold of my hand!” I yelled grabbing hold onto a near by fallen tree, my other hand extended out, he grabbed it without hesitation and I pulled him out,

  “Please be alright...” I said dragging him to a safe place, he was extremely pale and his lips were blue, “Hang on....” I said and took out my phone,

  _“999, what is your emergency...”_

* * *

 

_"Male, early twenties, signs of hypothermia.."_ The paramedic said never taking her eyes off her patient, I sat there quietly in the back of the ambulance as it rushed down the street,

  "W-will he...be alright?" I asked, my voice shaking with emotion, tears were threatening to spill out at any moment, I couldn't loose Dan, not like this.

  "I can't say for sure, sir, I'm sorry..." she said, worry washed over her voice, "We'll know more when we arrive..." she said with a small smile, I nodded slowly and looked away, _was this my fault? Was Dan like this because of me?_ I had no time for answers because as soon as the car stopped the doors burst open and we were rushing down the hall,

   "Sir, you can't go back here..." a nurse said stopping me, "I'm sorry but please go to the waiting room, you'll know something as soon as we do, I promise." I nodded and watched as Dan disappeared, I was left there in the hall with tears running down my face,

  _This was my fault...._


	2. Chapter 2

  I sat in silence waiting for any news that Dan was alright, this was all my fault, if I never asked Dan to come out with me, he wouldn't be here right now,

  “All my fault...” I said to myself, my head in my hands, tears ran down my face at the thought of all the pain I caused,

  “Sir?” someone asked, tapping me on the shoulder, I looked up and noticed the worried face of a nurse standing over me,

  “S-sorry!” I said, rubbing my eyes dry, “Dan....is he alright?” I asked standing up,

  “It was touch and go for a while, his body is still in shock from the cold water, he's as comfortable as he can be right now. He's in recovery if you would like to see him, room 217.” She said with a small smile and walked away, I sighed with relief and walked down the hall to his room, I hesitated before going in,

  “Dan?” I asked quietly and looked over at his bed, he was asleep, an oxygen mask over his face and an IV line in his left hand,

  “Oh, Dan, I'm so sorry...” I whispered, sitting down next to him, I gently took his hand and rubbed small circles with my thumb, “I never should have asked you to come with me...” I said and suddenly heard a small whine coming from the bed, Dan was waking up,

  “Dan, love, can you hear me?” I asked standing up,

  “P-Phil...you're here...” He said, shaking his head weakly, like he was trying to fight the urge to fall back asleep,

  “Of course....I'm so sorry Dan.” I said and more tears spilled out, “You wouldn't...be here if it wasn't for me...” I said and sat back down, my body shaking with emotion,

  “Don't.....you dare do that to yourself.” Dan said gently lifting my chin up, “This...is not your fault, alright?” He said with a small smile, “I...only did that because...I didn't want you where I am now. I wanted you safe....” I leaned into his touch and smiled,

  “Oh, Dan...” I said and sighed, “I...feel better now. I'm just glad that you're alright. Get some rest alright?” I said standing up, placing a kiss on his forehead, “I'll be back, I promise.” I said and watched his eyes close as sleep washed over him.

  _I love you, Dan...._ I said and stepped out into the hallway and with a shaky hand I took out a small blade, _this is my fault..._ I looked around before pressing it to my wrist, hard, drawing blood,

  _I'm sorry....Dan_ was the last thing I thought of before darkness took me.

* * *

 

 

_Male, late twenties, attempts of suicide_

  I heard commotion down the hall and sat up in bed,  _where was Phil?_ I asked myself and got really scared,  _what if it's_ _Phil they're all talking about?_ I asked and quickly took my IV out and my oxygen mask off, _I had to know._ I slowly got up from my bed and made my way outside, all the noise was coming from a room just down the hall from mine, my heart pounded faster as I made my way over, and all my fears came true, there lying on the bed was Phil, the doctors trying to stop the bleeding from his wrists,  

  "No!? Phil!" I screamed, my hands covering my mouth, a nurse saw me and rushed over as I fell to the floor, "Phil!" I yelled, hugging myself, trying to make the pain go away,

  "Sir, you need to go back to bed!" the nurse said sternly, "I'm sorry..." she said gently and helped me up,

  "But....Phil?" I asked, my body shaking with fear, "I...." I couldn't finish, _I love him...._

  "Is in good hands....I promise...." She said and helped me back into bed, "You will know something as soon as any of us, just rest." she said and walked back out,

  _Phil, why?_


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

   

  I was released that morning but Phil wasn't so I sat down next to his bed and watched him sleep, he looked so young and innocent when he was like this, it almost made me smile if it wasn't for what Phil did. I looked down at the restraints, white bandages just visible underneath, 

  "Why, Phil? This wasn't your fault, you should have just listened to me..." I said and brushed Phil's bangs away, "When have I ever lied to you?" I asked and watched as Phil's eyes fluttered open, 

  "D-Dan?" He asked looking up at me, "What happened?" I looked down fiddling with my jacket, 

  "You...uh, you almost died.....you're such an idiot!" I said, suddenly blurting out, tears threatening to spill out, "You had me worried, I told you it wasn't your fault! Why didn't you listen to me!?" I pleaded, not letting my emotions hide this time,

  "I-I...." Was all Phil could manage before he to let his emotions take over, "I'm so sorry Dan! Dammit! I just made things worse..." he said slamming his fists down, well as best as he could while being restrained,

 "If you felt this way, we could have just talked things over!" I yelled, yes I was angry, I had every right to be, "I could have lost you! Did you really want me to spend the rest of my life without you?!" Phil looked up at me, shocked,

  "N-no....of course not!" Phil shouted, "I guess I was just scared....I had nobody else to turn to in that moment, I might have lost you myself!" he yelled and turned his head away, crying into the pillow,

  "Phil...." I said, calming down a bit, I slowly got up and leaned over him, I took his chin in my hand and turned his head, "Who ever said I was leaving? Even if things had turned bad, I would have found a way to survive, do you not know me Phil? I'm a fighter and so are you." I said and gently kissed him on the forehead, "Don't ever scare me like that again, Phil Lester." I looked down into his apologetic eyes, 

  "Oh Dan..." Phil said and smiled a bit, "For now on I won't make decisions on my own...." I got back up and squeezed his hand,

  "You don't ever have to be alone, Phil...." I said and suddenly the door opened and in walked Phil's doctor,

  "Oh, Phil, you're awake, good. I have a few questions, if that's alright? This will determine whether it's safe for you to go home or not." He said standing by the bed,

  "Yes, go ahead." Phil said,

   "Have you been suicidal before?" He asked looking down at his clipboard, I still sat by Phil, still holding his hand, I knew he needed support right now,

   "No, this is the first time." Phil said, and we watched as he scribbled something down, 

   "Why is it that you attempted one now?" He asked, 

   "I saw my boyfriend lying in the bed because of something I thought I did, I had no one to turn to in that moment..."   Phil said, more tears spilling over, 

  "Alright, I think I got everything, I'll be back in a moment..." He said and left, leaving Phil crying on his bed, 

  "You did great, Phil..." I said, rubbing circles on the back of his hand, trying to calm him down, and soon the door opened, the Doctor walking back in,  

  "Well, Phil, everything looks good and you can go home." He said with a smile, Phil looked so relieved with what he said that he simply smiled,

  "Thank you for everything...." I said and watched as the Doctor left once again, "Come on, Let's go home."

 

* * *

 

   It was cold and still snowing a bit as we made our way down the pavement to our apartment, both of us bundled up in coats and scarves, I held tightly to Dan's arm trying to keep warm,

  "Dan....I, uh, I'm sorry about what happened..." I said looking down at the white ground, "I really never meant to hurt you like this..." He stopped us in our tracks and lifted my chin up,

  "Phil, will you stop this, I've already forgiven you. Yes, I wasn't happy about it at first and I had every right to be mad, but than I realized why you did it and I should be the one apologizing..." He said with a small sigh,

  "But Dan, yo-" I was cut off by Dan leaning into kiss me,

  "Can't you just shut up?" He asked with a laugh, breaking the kiss, "Come on, I think you promised me something." He stated, a huge grin appeared on his face,  

   "Oh, so you remember than?" I asked, as we made our way up the stairs, "Why don't you pick a movie out and I'll get the Hot Chocolate." I said, already making my way to the Kitchen, 

   "Alright, alright, just don't take forever!" Dan said and walked away, about ten minutes later I had the drinks in hand and made my way over to the lounge, Dan was sitting on the sofa, a blanket wrapped around himself as the menu screen for _Underworld_ played in the background, 

  "Oh so you're into Vampires now?" I asked taking a seat next to Dan who wrapped the blanket around us, 

  "Come on, Phil, this is a great movie!" He said taking the mug from me, "Besides you've only seen it once..." He said with a small smirk, _Damn he had a point..._

  "Fine, fine...: I said and cuddled up to him more as the opening scene started...

    _Everything is just perfect now...._

 

 

 


End file.
